"You are what you love. Not what loves you."
- Charlie Kaufman in Adaptation

If there was a word that would define my life I'm not sure what would be. Strange comes to mind, but that's not it. It just comes to mind often. Some kind of sense of misplacement.

As I write this I'm working on a song (Stealth is the name) that is dealing with what is on my mind right now. The problem is that what's on my mind is not what's on my mind.

I am going through a strange period of my life indeed. Years ago, when I was finishing high-school, I wrote and wrote poems and lyrics, and in a way, songs, but not exactly. At that point I met M. I moved to England in order to learn how to actually write songs and so I did. Soon after I started learning how to write songs me and M parted ways, which actually came to be the reason why I became a proficient song-writer. In a strange way, of course.

I guess I was content being with M, so I wasn't evolving (or learning all that much) during that time. Once we parted ways, my focus shifted almost exclusively to my music and with all the frustration that comes now and again for working on this, so it was.

Mixed feelings. I didn't want to part ways, but, if I am any good at this (and now and again I do think I am), I am because we did. Part ways, that is.

But of course, I digress. Why does any of this matter? Well, do you remember the time where I told you that when I met M I was writing, but I couldn't write songs? Well, it seems that right now I'm writing songs, but I can't put words on paper. Well (is the repetition getting to you yet?), of course I can put words onto paper, since I'm doing this right now (well, sort of), just not in a form of half-decent lyrics or poetry.

Stealth first came to mind one afternoon, not that long ago, as I was driving along the beautiful Serra de Sintra. Bull****! I was stuck in trafic in the middle of Lisbon, but I would be driving through there an hour later, although when I was driving through the Serra de Sintra I wasn't thinking about the song. I was thinking - or rather, wishing - that the cigarette that I had just drooped onto my seat would be put out if I just kept jumping up and down, while keeping the car on the road.

In any case, it first came then. Later, that same day I went out with a girl I've been flirting with (or so I thought), and I got so bored and frustrated on the club we were at, that I actually found myself looking out onto a huge cargo boat that was "parked" (what's the right word for this?) next to the club and wishing I'd sneak in and just leave that darned place. So the concept of Stealth came back to me. I entertained it for awhile in my mind, kinda making time, hanging onto the lost hope that the night would turn around, kinda thinking seriously about it, until I finally gave up on the night, said my goodbyes, and gave up on someone who I had probably just misinterpreted.

I got home at about a-quater-past-three and just worked on the song for the next four hours. The next day I worked on it all day, but again, I couldn't write a single line. The base of the song is laid down, the concept I want to write about (entering stealthily onto the boat as an analogy of the parallels of love and war) is well defined and clear in my head, and yet, I can't write a single line. This is the second time in a row that this happens to me. I have a song on hold because I couldn't write the lyrics for it. Now, I guess, I have two. I'm officially with a writers block. Stealth does seem to work fine without lyrics, but I've not given up yet.

If anyone wishes to collaborate and give it a shot writing the lyrics, feel free, we'll give it a try and see how it works. In order to facilitate I'm making available a small preview of Stealth here [link] .

In the meantime we'll be working on a small movie to accompany the release of Stealth.

I really feel like watching Adaptation...